Sunday, January 30, 2011


NOVEMBER 8, 2010 - meanwhile...catching up on movies...catching up on life
Sometimes, things happen with such timing that it makes you wonder if you weren't destined to "be there at that exact moment" or "miss that bus and bump into that stranger". During a malfunction with my Netflix and PS3 system the movie Julie & Julia started to play. Being that I have been meaning to give ghost-hunting shows a rest I decided to continue watching and enjoy the intoxicating experience that is Meryl Streap. Not even 15 minutes into this movie I felt an amazing connection with the story and began to wonder if I wasn't destined to "Watch this movie" and have a moment of self-recollection.
A gal about my age, kind of lost, knowing her true passion but for one reason or another not going for it; all the while the story of legend Julia Child paralleling the whole tale. It was remarkable to watch and seemed to somewhat resemble the amazingly risky turn I have taken in my personal life.
Now granted my "terrible office job" was the music industry, and my "cooking" is fashion, but I know the feling of dreading to go to work in the morning. I know the feeling of, "THIS ISN'T ME, what am I doing with my life?" I know the sensation of having a horribly disappointed opinion of myself and hardly recognizing who I see in the mirror.
I guess before I was clouded by money and the rat race to be successful... I found it easier to be "realistic" and settle for stability; just as long as my bank account spilled over and I had full benefits. Back then, I found myself saying, "this is only for now" just to realize a year had past and I was still working in the Music Industry and pretending Fashion wasn't all that important to me.
I know now, because of this wonderful movie, that I am not alone; we sometimes get lost but it's never too late to reach for our dreams.
 The strangest little things in this movie made me shed a tear (or two...three). Not exactly the predictable tear triggers you'd expect, but still, just as powerful due to my current life choice I suppose. For example, watching Julia (Meryl) light up with joy when she first started the cooking class with all those judgmental men... or seeing her walk on thin air down the cobble stones of France while shopping for supplies...witnessing her face the moment she got recognized for her hard work and was published. These moments were beaming from her face with the light of spirit, purpose and attained destiny... and it was so enlightening to see.

For so long I had wondered if I'd ever graduate from fashion school, or have the time and money to learn my craft. I wondered if I'd ever feel the way I did when I actually had the honor of attending college or graduating college for that matter...For so long I wondered if I'd ever feel like ME the ME I knew but somehow lost along the way.
Recently, with my graduating from FIDM, developing my professional website, writing my blog and producing THE B-SPOT, I finally feel like ME again...and it's apretty good feeling indeed. :)
When I design clothes, put projects together or style someone in need of some TLC...I feel like Julia in her cooking class; I feel like a Julie starting her cooking blog, I feel like...ME...the me who's finally come out of her coma and is so happy to be alive.
For now, I am still living out the humble beginning scenes of this movie. Like Julie, I don't know if anyone's is out there reading my weekly posts. I'm not too sure if anyone watches my show besides some of my online community pals; but nothing beats the happiness I feel knowing that when I wake up in the morning I have a full day of fashion waiting for me.
Perfecting my craft and engaging in creative projects have saved my soul from diminishment and if there's one thing I've learned from Julie & Julia it's that if you do what you LOVE everyday, all you were chasing before will come naturally. At this point, I can't help but think to myself, "MY GOD - WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER!"
You see, I may not have a "publisher" knocking on my door, or have "65" phone messages asking for my work, but because of this movie, I'm not afraid to believe and carry wonderful hope in my pocket or wearing it in plain sight on my sleeve.
A natural willingness to work really hard and produce a product that you love is a powerful recipe for success, and all I can do is be the best version of my self that I can be while working really really hard to attain the ultimate dream.
I see that now because of this wonderful little film and I want to thank you Hollywood. Thank you for making a movie with substance and relatable meaning to us all...and thank you Julia, for being a pioneering woman that I love, look up to and respect from the deepest corners of my heart. Your story has changed my life and encouraged the creativity that is currently saving my life.

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